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6.05.2004

don't have gay sex, or you will become a rabbit

In a Haaretz article on a Jerusalem gay parade, I found a curious quote:

Posters went up in the city denouncing the mayor and the parade. Rabbi David Basri, a prominent kabbalist, said homosexuals were "subhuman" and would be reincarnated as rabbits.

That's right, rabbits. Fuckin A. I'm now taking suggestions for my upcoming kabbalah book. It will detail which animals various types of sinners turn into after they die. Here's what I've got so far:

People who wear garments containing both wool and linen: snakes

Women who engage in marital relations despite menstruation: unicorns with herpes

Chefs who cook goats in their mothers' milk: guinea pigs with congenital heart defects

Men who shave their sideburns above the cheekbone: hairless mexican chihuahua

Adulterers: leprous leopards