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The Defenestration of Blog

My blog has killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy's car.


5.30.2005

my brain right now

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5.29.2005

troach of the week

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Name: Vernellia Randall
Occupation: Professor, University of Dayton Law School
Crimes: Stupidity, obesity, brazen usage of the race card

For evidence of said stupidity see:
Rantings on how there are too many white people in law school
26 Cumb. L. Rev. 63
14 J. Law. & Pub. Pol'y 45

Further reading: RagingPundits

this week's tale of the tape

the Mets eat shit

5.27.2005

daily trip

This morning I got to my regularly scheduled Metro stop and noticed that instead of two ascending and one descending escalator, there was 1 of the former and two of the latter. It was as if the train went through a wormhole in the vicinity of Friendship Heights, sending the train into an alternate universe in which the laws of physics (as we know them) no longer apply. I just stood there for a second, feeling like I stepped out of Euclidean space and into an M.C. Escher painting.

dems: all bork, no bite?

bork me and i'll bite!
I'd like to see them try and filibuster THIS judge!

5.25.2005

[rant]

Are you threatening me?
So my roommate bought some toilet paper. I was glad he did it since we were down to our last roll. But it turns out he bought 1 ply tissue. ONE FUCKING PLY? Do you believe this shit? Who buys 1 ply toilet paper? I might as well wipe my ass with sandpaper! Can somebody explain why they even sell this stuff? Did we lose a war??

Like most people born after the enlightenment, I'm used to 2 ply. In fact, I might have gotten a little spoiled in college when I dabbled in 3-ply. That was good stuff. It makes you feel as if you're some kind of Saudi sheikh wiping his ass with a little pillow.
[/rant]

markets in everything



http://www.cafepress.com/dpa.13426020



Yeah, so I stole the title of the post from Marginal Revolution. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

5.23.2005

tale of the tape

tale of the tape

5.22.2005

you think you know somebody...

Did you know that Condi Rice...
has nice legs according to Ariel Sharon?
cooks up a mean fried chicken?
rocks out to Zeppelin?
dreams of being NFL commish? (Interestingly, Bush wanted to be MLB commissioner)
http://www.nydailynews.com/04-04-2004/news/gossip/story/180472p-156691c.html

Unfortunately, this page leaves out the Park Avenue party full of NY Times reporters where Condi was overheard saying "my husb...er..President Bush."

5.21.2005

from the why do they hate us department

What drives Islamic militants to their barbaric terrorist acts? There are enough theories to choke a horse (a zionist/crusader horse, to be sure). One of the most important and often overlooked factors is government incitement. Most Arab countries have at least one major newspaper and TV station controlled by the government. Often the rest are subject to heavy handed censorship. They often publish outright lies meant to scapegoat foreigners (America, Israel) and deflect anger that would otherwise be directed at the government. Some of the most virulent hatred comes from government-appointed clerics who deliver fiery sermons against the infidels. Other incitement comes directly through government information channels such as the Palestinian Authority's Web site, controlled by the "moderate" Abu Mazen. In fact, that's where you can now find an Arabic translation of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Read about it here.

5.20.2005

a rose by any other name (would still not be in the hall of fame)

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I just cracked open a pack of 1985 Donruss. I was overjoyed to get a Pete Rose. I just want to share an excerpt from the "Career Highlights" on the back:
Pictured here as an Expo, Pete Rose was on the final stop of his journey home to Cincinatti. After playing the first 4 1/2 months of '84 north of the border where the folks of Canada could see his talents, Pete was traded back to his original team, the Reds, as a player-manager. The next stop, of course, will be Cooperstown and the Hall of Fame.

Oops!

cooler than the other side of the pillow

when you marry a shiksa, you're marrying Hitler

Intermarriage is, in a sense, an act of treason to our people for, instead of bringing new Jews into the world by marrying a Jewish wife, one would be contributing to the decimation of our people and the “Final Solution” that Hitler and his followers began and nearly accomplished. The horrific rates of intermarriage today constitute a silent annihilation of our people.

Special thanks to my roommate for discovering this page on AskMoses.com. It is a fount of silliness. Really funny stuff. Or maybe it's more scary than funny. Next time I go on a date, I'd better bring a bodyguard to protect me from the Simon Wiesenthal Center. Bah, who am I kidding, I'll never get a date...

NB: the page seems to be run by Lubavitcher hassidim, so it is not mainstream Jewish opinion, but rather the opinion of a fringe messianic cult.

5.19.2005

red means win

The New York Times reports that when one team is wearing red, all else equal between the two teams, the red team will win 6 out of 10 times.

Of course, the Yankees have won 10 out of their last 10 games without a stitch of red in their uniforms. Thus, we can conclude that having the best players in the world will generally be a decisive advantage.

5.18.2005

it's ok because i'm jewish. get it?

As we were setting up a field on the National Mall for the softball game against the State Department, a colleague said that it might not be wise to use the U.S. Holocaust Memorial as a third base line. I replied, "yeah, the last thing we need is an errant ball to cause another Kristallnacht."

one of my many emails to the intern listserv

I was just eating my lunch in the breakroom when one of our more portly co-workers came in to eat. In order to sit down, he or she had to bring in a special chair without arm rests. At that point I decided not to eat my fries. My loss is your gain; they are in a styrofoam cup on the table in the front of the room. Bon appetit!

5.17.2005

why i love the ny post

pat buchanan, subhuman visionary

Buchanan rants:
There is a religious war going on in our country for the soul of America. It is a cultural war, as critical to the kind of nation we will one day be as was the Cold War itself...American culture has become toxic and poisonous. Take a look at what Hollywood produces today and what it produced in the 1950s. The alteration is dramatic.

Liberty, shmiberty!
Frankly, you would not have a cultural war in this country if the Supreme Court had said, "Look, free speech is one thing, but pornography is not covered by the First Amendment."
[If the justices] had stayed away from forced busing, if they had let the states decide abortion and gay rights, you would not have had the cultural war — and probably not have had the victories that the Republican Party had in the 1970s and '80s.

Tequila, Romanism, and Rebellion
Look, you're going to have 100 million people of Hispanic, primarily Mexican, descent in the American Southwest by the middle of this century, and I think you are in danger of losing the American Southwest, de facto. I think this country is risking coming apart, like other countries in the world, over issues of language, culture and ethnicity.

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20050517-122418-5719r.htm
Why do the mainstream media still give a platform to this Hitler lover?

5.16.2005

unbelievable badassitude that breaches the edge of the universe

http://www.skateboardingbulldog.com/

love it or leave it or shutdafuckup

CANNES, France (Reuters) - The dark underside of the United States has taken center stage in several films at Cannes this year, capped on Monday with a scathing attack of past and present racism in America by Danish director Lars von Trier.

Von Trier, whose fear of flying has prevented him from visiting the United States, won thunderous cheers at the world premiere and a news conference, where he said he enjoyed bashing America on screen because it invades his life even in Denmark.

"We are all under the influence -- and it's a very bad influence -- from America," said the 49-year-old Dane. "In my country everything has to do with America. America is kind of sitting on the world.

"America has to do with 60 percent of my brain and all things I experience in my life, and I'm not happy about that," von Trier said. I'd say 60 percent of my life is American so I am in fact an 'American' too. But I can't go there and vote or change anything there. That is why I make films about America."

http://reuters.myway.com/article/20050516/2005-05-16T160306Z_01_N16697712_RTRIDST_0_NEWS-ARTS-CANNES-AMERICA-DC.html

HEY LARS: TUNE IT OUT, YOU DUMB BASTARD. TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN TV. STOP LISTENING TO THE RADIO. AVOID THE MAINSTREAM AMERICAN CINEMA. BETTER YET, LET'S SEE YOU MAKE SOMETHING BETTER, ASSWIPE. AND BY THE WAY, YOU CAN GO TO AMERICA, YOU'RE JUST TOO PUSSY TO GET ON A PLANE. EAT SHIT AND DIE.
Yours truly,
Abu Gingy

5.15.2005

apartheid

There's no other word to describe where this country is heading.
Some European-American students attempting to register for smaller calculus and English classes at the University of Oregon are being told there is no room for them because slots in the courses have been set aside for non-white students, according to the Oregon Daily Emerald.

Ragingpundits links to it here.

bootylicious bar mitzvah

British retail billionaire Philip Green has hired chart-topping R&B group Destiny's Child to perform at his son's bar mitzvah.

The stars are set to entertain guests at the three-day event on the French Riviera estimated to have cost the Bhs and Top Shop boss £4m ($7.4m).

Singer Justin Timberlake could also be performing, The Times reports.

Mr Green is said to have chartered a plane to fly about 200 of his family's friends to the bash this weekend.

The guests are being put up at the exclusive Hotel du Cap in Cannes, with the actual bar mitzvah itself expected to take place at a synagogue being temporarily set up in the building.

Mr Green, who lives in nearby Monaco, has built up a fortune of more than £3bn.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4546595.stm

Damn. All my parents could afford was Pee Wee Herman and he scared the hell out of us.

5.14.2005

*bows down*


UPDATE: OK, I realized this is only funny to me. The background is that my mother accused me of worhsipping the "golden calf" of atheism. I cracked up at her zealotry and judgmentalism.

cute bulldog du jour

5.13.2005

just a heads up

I coined a new term today: retardian economics

Expect to see references to the retardian school, whether I'm bashing Lou Dobbs, Paul Krugman or Mr. Retardo himself (otherwise known as Keynes).

5.12.2005

hotornot has jumped the shark

http://www.ratemybunny.com/
All bunnies look the same. I am certain that if the data were available, we would see that the standard deviation of bunny ratings is much lower than that of puppies or human females.

from the vault of the NY Federal Reserve

Are We Underestimating the Gains from Globalization for the United States?

Authors: Christian Broda and David Weinstein

Over the last three decades, trade has more than tripled the variety of international goods available to U.S. consumers. Although an increased choice of goods clearly enhances consumer well-being, standard national measures of welfare and prices do not assign a value to variety growth. This analysis—the first effort to measure such gains—finds that the value to consumers of global variety growth in the 1972-2001 period was roughly $260 billion.

Full Text: HTML | PDF

law of demand: broken!

To wit: the cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

You can get that and plenty of other gems at http://www.csuchico.edu/econ/old/links/econhumor.html

sorry about this Michael Jackson post...

Jacko used chimps as cleaners

If that's the most they find out, he should consider himself lucky.

5.11.2005

the new pope=a star wars character

Satan is still at work in the world unleashing "evil energy" but God will be the final arbiter of history, Pope Benedict said on Wednesday.

Speaking at the third general audience since his election last month, the Pope also said that nations and leaders had to look for God's hand in history in the past and learn from it.

"History, in fact, is not in the hands of dark forces, left to chance or just human choices," he told thousands of people in St. Peter's Square.

"Above the unleashing of evil energy, above the vehement interruptions of Satan, above the so many scourges of evil, rises the Lord, supreme arbiter of history."

http://reuters.myway.com/article/20050511/2005-05-11T133823Z_01_N11640604_RTRIDST_0_NEWS-POPE-DC.html

Satan's evil energy. Hmm. Perhaps that's what fried my MP3 player while it was charging.

all tuckered out


Sorry about the lack of posts today; after softball practice I was wiped. Goodnight.

5.09.2005

abu gingy, friend, discuss the state of baseball cards on aol

[WARNING: Nerdy econ humor follows]

Friend: when I think back to cards I liked, it was the old school ones with a cool picture and stats
Friend: and that's about it
Friend: nowadays they have those jersey cards
Abu Gingy: they cut up one of 3 existing ruth jerseys
Abu Gingy: the oldest one
Friend: are you kidding me
Abu Gingy: and made a bunch of cards out of it
Friend: that's evil
Friend: Jesus, that's nauseating
Abu Gingy: just the same, it would be the average guy's only chance to ever own a piece of game used ruth memorabilia
Friend: true
Friend: but how much of a profit would you get on the card gimmick versus auctioning off the whole damn thing?
Abu Gingy: yeah its a good question
Friend: not too mention that selling the whole jersey would protect the sanctity of baseball
Abu Gingy: i think aggregate utility would be maximized by keeping the jersey in a museum
Abu Gingy: or even taking it on tour
Friend: I agree
Friend: because then the avg. joe could see the thing as it was intended
Abu Gingy: i guess a lot of it was to generate publicity
Friend: yea
Friend: but I could generate publicity by digging up Princess Di and skull fucking her
Friend: while the initial publicity would be good
Friend: Long-Run costs would outweigh any short run benefits
Abu Gingy:True. to paraphrase Keynes, "in the long run we're all dug up and skullfucked."

5.08.2005

you bash-a the immigrants, i break-a ya face!

Ragingpundits is on the ball as usual.

so thats what happened to my peanut butter!

abu gingy eviscerates a crazy troach

I saw this English basement apartment in Chevy Chase the other day. It was nice enough, but when I got home I realized that there was no TV. I e-mailed the landlady (who lives upstairs) to ask if there is cable or if she would be willing to get it wired. She responded:

I don't think this would be a good fit. In answer to your questions:


You won't believe this, but I don't watch *any* television. I personally consider it the lead in the pipes of American culture. (Think "decline of the Roman empire.") For one thing, nearly all the broadcast media are now oned by onglomerates with their own specific agenda, with the result that what is passed off as "news" is primarily propaganda. For another thing, the amount of information you can absorb through reading is approximately five to seven times that of watching television (speech is approximately 100 words per minute whereas a reader can absorb up to 800 words per minute.) If you really want to know what's happening in the news
you should be reading it rather than watching it, and taking even that with a large grain of salt.

Karl Marx wrote that religion is the opiate of the masses. But that was only because in his day television had not yet been invented.

yours,

stephanie


Naturally, I didn't take kindly to this self-righteous sermonette, so I responded with a rant of my own:

You won't believe this, but I don't watch *any* television. I personally consider it the lead in the pipes of American culture. (Think "decline of the Roman empire.")


That's your preference, and you're entitled to it, but you should really mention it in your Craigslist ad. Not having television is a dealbreaker for a lot of people. There's a reason that the media companies are so big and profitable: they produce something people want. The average American watches about 2 and a half hours of television per day. Deprivation of an activity that constitutes half of one's leisure time would normally warrant a substantial discount in the rent most people would be willing to pay. It would be helpful to mention that in your ad and save everyone's time.

For one thing, nearly all the broadcast media are now owned by conglomerates with their own specific agenda, with the result that what is passed off as "news" is primarily propaganda.

Are the newspapers and publishing houses not owned by conglomerates with
agendas? If anything, a conglomerate should be more objective in that any individually owned media outlet is more susceptible to the overbearing personality of a politically biased press lord. Since NBC is owned by GE, it is part of a massive corporate structure whose only social responsibility is to create a profit
for its shareholders. The same goes for all the other networks. If one began telling outright lies, the rest of the networks would call them out on it and steal their viewers and profits. Sure, theyre still all biased one way or another, but the networks wear it on their sleeves. American TV viewers are smart enough to know that Fox News has a right wing bias and the BBC has a left wing bias. A television is, by nature, a large scale enterprise. The only realistic ownership alternative would be to place television in the hands of government. If you are worried about propaganda now, I don't need to do any explaining on that front. I also see no evidence of TV producing more dangerous propaganda than newspapers or books. The lies of Der Sturmer, Mein Kampf and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion have no paralell in television propaganda.

For another thing, the amount of information you can absorb through reading is approximately five to seven times that of watching television (speech is
approximately 100 words per minute whereas a reader can absorb up to 800 words per minute.)


I don't know where you get this, but I'll assume that you have verified it with your own diagnostics. I am happy that you've personally discovered your optimally efficient medium for the delivery of information. I can tell you with all certainty that it does not apply to me. Some people have learning disabilities that cause them to read far slower than you or occasionally zone out completely in front of the written word. Regardless, TV is a far superior conduit for some types of content. Why don't they publish the play by play for every pro sports game? Because it would
suck. People watch sports on TV because it's 100 time more exciting than anything you can read. Plenty of books are funny, but not in the same way as a sitcom. The Simpsons began as an obscure comic book relegated to a small group of nerds. Since Fox picked it up as a TV show, it has earned $1 billion and brought countless hour of intelligent, hilarious, and FREE entertainment to the world. Then there's the shows with fast-paced visual gags (i.e. Family Guy, South Park, Chapelle's etc) that simply cannot be expressed in any print medium.

If you really want to know what's happening in the news you should be reading it rather than watching it, and taking even that with a large grain of salt.


I do read the news, but as I have said, news is not the only thing on TV. Besides, when the networks egregiously fail to keep each other in check, independent media (i.e. the bloggers v. CBS) step in and do it for them.


Karl Marx wrote that religion is the opiate of the masses. But that was only because in his day television had not yet been invented.


Marx wrote a lot of things. They were put into practice and they resulted in mass murder on a scale that made Hitler look like a choir boy. I'm not a religious person, but I have always seen that opiate quote as intolerant and condescending. Even though he may have had no use for religion, he was wrong to advocate against allowing people to live their own religious convictions. Religious people did not want to live in the Soviet Union because of the implementation of this view as policy (among other reasons). Just the same, many people will choose not to live under your roof because of how you impose your personal views on TV as policy.

5.06.2005

schumer to economy: drop dead

[This article has been deleted, at least temporarily, due to the possibility of an exclusive with a major newspaper's op-ed page]

seen on a Maryland license plate

SPINOZA

I don't know who you are, but if you ever get pulled over for speeding, I hope you get out of a ticket with some kind of sophistical argument based on how time is merely an accident of motion. That would be totally badass.

5.04.2005

TORT!

Boy finds snake in breakfast cereal
A two-foot snake found its way into a packet of breakfast cereal, it emerged today.

Five-year-old Jordan Willett, from Dawley, Shropshire, discovered the live reptile inside his box of Golden Puffs on Bank Holiday Monday.

His mother Theresa, who was having breakfast with her son at the time, said she initially thought it was a free gift for children.

http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/18354904?source=PA

Back when I was a kid the worst we would find was the occasional jagged metal Krusty-O.

5.03.2005

are the Republicans good for anything anymore?

They can't even restrain government spending. In The Grand Old Spending Party: How Republicans Became Big Spenders the Cato Institute's Stephen Slivinski details how government has grown during the Bush administration. Even if you ignore the increases in military spending, homeland security, and entitlements, domestic discretionary spending has still skyrocketed. It's time for a little regime change of our own.

is your bulldog Yale material?

ESPN.com is running this revealing story on Yale's selection of Handsome Dan XV.
The Yale Athletic Department is looking for the next bulldog to assume the role of mascot as Handsome Dan XVI. Yale, still mourning the passing of Dan XV this winter, has decided to comb New England in search of his successor ... Candidates should be athletic enough to climb stairs, walk the sidelines of a game for four quarters and dodge out-of-bounds football players. Speaking on command is preferred, but not required

5.02.2005

meh...sugar shmugar

Russel Roberts calls out congress on its free trade double standard.